WHERE'S THE PAIN

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I went for my second "filling" today. Again the doctor made me cry. My take on this band has been that it should create discomfort or even pain when I eat the wrong thing or too much and I should feel full when I eat 3 ounces of chicken. Okay, well now I get what he is saying, of course it took me crying in front of him for him to say it. He told me today that he understands I am still hungry, but when I go in and tell him that I can eat anything I want, it tells him that I'm not trying to stick with the "plan" (protein only). Whereas if I go in and tell him I'm sticking with the plan and still feeling very hungry, then it shows him that I'm doing my part and the band needs to be tightened. Otherwise, I'm shoving carbs in my mouth which in turn make you hungrier, so he doesn't know if the band needs to be tightened or if I need to change my diet. I have to fight through the hunger until the next fill. I will lose weight with feeling hungry, but he can adjust the band accordingly. If I continue to eat the way I'm eating he could adjust the band but eventually I would stretch the saline pouches to where the band would not be effective.

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So now I know I must give myself 8 weeks with a fill and sticking to the diet. If I feel hungry, he says eat more protein, but whatever I do, do not exceed 20 grams of carbs a day. I don't know if any of you read labels, but 20 carbs is NOTHING! Well actually I think nothing even has 1 carb in it!

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I know I can do this for at least 8 weeks. Good grief how many diets have I done for a month, two months, even three months only to fall off and gain more back. This way I at least won't be gaining any weight back. Hopefully I won't need another fill to help me feel full, but if I do by golly there will be no more making me cry because I have failed, it will ALL be on the band.

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By the way he was upset with me because I hadn't followed his diet plan, but I did lose one more pound and considering I was shoving carbs in my mouth I think that was pretty darn good. The old days I would have put on at least 10 pounds.

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Biggest Loser Season 8

Well I didn't make the show! It's okay. I know that God's plan is always carried out and this was not in it. I know some of you are thinking what in the world would God have to do with the Biggest Loser, well, you never know how his love can be used on such a show and I was ready to be that vessel.

Now on to other weight loss issues. I have yo-yoed with 5 or 6 pounds over the last 2 months and I'm sick of it. I am glad the Biggest Loser thing is over so I can concentrate on my band and diet. I did go back for that first fill and I was so upset with the Doctor because first he has no empathy and second somehow he talked me into the fill. With tears in my eyes I went over to the hospital to get the first fill. He put 4 cc's of saline in the port to fill the band and felt that was enough for the first fill. He said with the aid of the xray he was able to double what could be done in the office. I'm thinking okay, now lets see some action! I stay on a liquid diet for 2 days and then introduce solid foods. I'm very good at first about just eating the protein. I have my eggs for breakfast, my chicken at lunch and then within 20 minutes of eating my chicken I'm starving. He had said then eat more protein if I continue to get hungry, so I did and I did. Now of course your next course of action should be to eat vegetables, but we all know how that doesn't work for me, so before I know it I'm adding a baked potato (with butter) and then bread. I'm eating pizza, desserts and not drinking the amount of water I should be doing. I have good days and bad days and I think that because of a chance of going on the show I may not have given it all of my determination.

My next fill is scheduled for the 6th of May, but I think I'm calling tomorrow and see if I can move it up and I'm going to tell them to "ratchet" that thing on down, because I NEED that feeling of discomfort in order to pay attention to what is going in my mouth. I really want to go ahead and add a trainer to my regiment, but because of cost I will have to wait. I'll be saving and if any of you come across any extra dough, send it my way!

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Thanks to all of you who supported me on this journey with the Biggest Loser and I will continue to need your support throughout my ever-ending journey of weight loss! I will be back to blogging so keep checking in.

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I love all of you very much!