Calling all Losers!

For those who haven't heard, I went to Louisville, KY this weekend and tried out with my niece, Stephanie for the Biggest Loser. After 6 hours in the cold, wind and some rain, but also with a lot of fun under our belt, we were finally called inside. Long story short, I was called back for a 2nd interview. I went back to Louisville on Tuesday and the interview went great! I have to send a videotape in now and wait.

I tell you all of this to tell you that today was suppose to be my first fill. Because of the opportunity of the Biggest Loser, I don't think I will get the fill. I will talk to my doctor about it, but I don't want anything to compromise my chances and without a fill I'm eating how I ate before I ever had surgery, which puts me on a level playing field with other potential contestants. Also, if I make it to the show, I'll need to be able to eat more than I could with a fill. I don't think 3 ounces of chicken alone will supply the kind of nutrition or energy it would require.

This has been a blast and as I told Steph, the journey is as exciting as the destination, so enjoy the trip!

Questions and Answers

Well, well, well. It’s been awhile hasn’t it? Am I on the wagon or off the wagon? What have I been doing? How much weight have I lost or gained? What is going on? All these questions seem to be going through most of your minds and I am here to answer at least some of them. I am doing fairly well with the diet, but not as well as I should. I am HUNGRY most of the time and until I get that fill I think I will continue to struggle. I have been working out usually 4 to 5 times a week and have continually increased my speed and time on the treadmill. I have as of this morning gained 4 pounds and am ticked off at myself and at the band. I do, however, think part of this is fluid because I have had more salt than I’m used to.

Just to let you know what a typical day is suppose to be I’ll list my menu.

Breakfast
2 eggs scrambled with ¼ cup of mozzarella cheese

2 – 16 oz. of water before lunch

Lunch
3 oz. grilled chicken breast with 2 tbsp of BBQ Sauce or Teriyaki Sauce

2 – 16 oz. of water before dinner

Dinner
3 oz. grilled salmon with 2 tbsp of Teriyaki Sauce

1 – 16 oz. water before bedtime

I have no problem with breakfast and lunch isn’t too bad, but when it comes to dinner, I am starving and instead of eating 3 oz. I will eat 6 oz. and if I can find anything else that sounds good to me like BREAD, then I’m all over it. I will say that my husband, God love him, has tried to make sure none of the “bad” items are in the house, but it is unfair to him not to have certain things like a baked potato with his meal. Baked potatoes are not on my menu because they are bad carbs but when I’m hungry I will eat the baked potato. He tries to discourage my indulgence, but I am quick to tell him he is not my keeper and he better back off! I think it’s kind of like Linda Blair in The Exorcist. Of course an occasional baked potato or even a snatched piece of bread is not going to add 4 pounds to me, but if I add 2 pieces of pizza or 6 sausage balls or a milk shake, you can better believe it’s going to stick to me like glue on paper.

I actually have fantasies of just going off to a hotel room and ordering pizza and bringing in M&M’s and Cashews and Cheese-Its and Pringles and eating myself into a coma. WHY? WHY? WHY? I know it’s not worth it and I am not going to do it, but why does this have such a control over me? Actually picturing the scene at the hotel makes me not indulge in all the bad stuff at once. All I see is a big huge fat girl cramming junk into her mouth and left crying on the bed.

I appreciate all of your support and encouragement and if I have let any of you down, please, please forgive me. This thing ain’t over and I WILL be losing once again. Just stay with me.