Wagon Identity

Okay, if someone would just tell me which wagon I'm on, maybe I'll stop falling off and getting on the wrong one! Alright, already, I know which one I'm on, the weight losing one. Yes, I fell off this week. Terry's birthday was Wednesday and Katie and I baked him a cake. I didn't have a taste as I was making it, but once he blew out those candles, I jumped off that wagon as fast as I could. I have had some other small jumps throughout the week also, but seem to get right back in the wagon before anyone catches me gone. This jump made me feel angry, not just at myself for jumping, but at the band for not making me sick! That just sounds wrong, doesn't it? I guess until that first fill I'll be vulnerable to all kinds of foods. I thought that the band would make me sick if I put sugar, carbs or anything else in that I wasn't suppose to, but no, oh no, I actually have to make a conscience decision in what goes in my mouth! Go figure! You know I am an intelligent person and I have done all my research before this surgery, but I think psychologically I was hoping that somehow this band would do all the work for me.

Isn't that like all of us, wanting something that will do it all for us? I must say that my support system at the "Y" try their best to keep me going, unfortunately this sometimes leads to me having to do more work. Lisa and Faye seemed to be "understanding" about my slip, but Vicki, OMGosh, I hear her across the room saying, "You had CAKE"? Then she proceeded to tell me I would have to do 45 minutes on the treadmill instead of my usual 30. And let me tell you, I did it, cause I didn't want to do any pushups, which I was sure was going to come out of her mouth next! I'm not feeling as angry now, and am right back up in that wagon and intend on taking it across country without bailing, but if I do, don't worry, I'll be right back again!