Thursday, January 29, 2009

Wagon Identity


Okay, if someone would just tell me which wagon I'm on, maybe I'll stop falling off and getting on the wrong one! Alright, already, I know which one I'm on, the weight losing one. Yes, I fell off this week. Terry's birthday was Wednesday and Katie and I baked him a cake. I didn't have a taste as I was making it, but once he blew out those candles, I jumped off that wagon as fast as I could. I have had some other small jumps throughout the week also, but seem to get right back in the wagon before anyone catches me gone. This jump made me feel angry, not just at myself for jumping, but at the band for not making me sick! That just sounds wrong, doesn't it? I guess until that first fill I'll be vulnerable to all kinds of foods. I thought that the band would make me sick if I put sugar, carbs or anything else in that I wasn't suppose to, but no, oh no, I actually have to make a conscience decision in what goes in my mouth! Go figure! You know I am an intelligent person and I have done all my research before this surgery, but I think psychologically I was hoping that somehow this band would do all the work for me.

Isn't that like all of us, wanting something that will do it all for us? I must say that my support system at the "Y" try their best to keep me going, unfortunately this sometimes leads to me having to do more work. Lisa and Faye seemed to be "understanding" about my slip, but Vicki, OMGosh, I hear her across the room saying, "You had CAKE"? Then she proceeded to tell me I would have to do 45 minutes on the treadmill instead of my usual 30. And let me tell you, I did it, cause I didn't want to do any pushups, which I was sure was going to come out of her mouth next! I'm not feeling as angry now, and am right back up in that wagon and intend on taking it across country without bailing, but if I do, don't worry, I'll be right back again!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I know you don't want to hear this but you know now that this weight loss journey is still up to your determination and strength. I think this hurt your ego more than anything else. Lesson learned move forward. I guess there is no quick fix for anything in life. Although there is always duct tape....hmmmm?LISA

Anonymous said...

Well gotta say it, I agree with Lisa. You gotta work at it, believe me - I fell off 4 years ago! Get right back on and move forward. My motto "create a past you can live with tomorrow" it really helps with the guilt! Love Ya.
Mr. Chickabee

Anonymous said...

Well.......did you get a concussion when you fell off the wagon and can't blogg????? he he

Anonymous said...

Ok....I need another blog. It can't be that bad. I wanna hear how you are doing. You can do this. For good or bad you can. I have had a bad past week but I am back on the wagon. Just cause we fall doesn't mean we have to stay down.